How To Stop Faking It –And Really THRIVE!

This has been an interesting few weeks.  My friend and former accountability partner, Margaret Lynch had an amazing live event in early March, about how to get clear, about becoming a Rock Star!  And if there is anyone on this planet that can show you how to be a Rock Star in your own life, it is Margaret!

So what does that have to do with these past few weeks?  Well, I was watching the livestream replay, tapping along….and unleashed some amazing character traits that I have been trying to hide all of my life.  Good things!  But, scarey at the same time.  The power that we each have within us…..that we try to hard to hide…..is nothing short of miraculous!  

And again, what does this have to do with “Getting Real”?  LOL!  It has EVERYTHING to do with it!  But the real point of this post was to share a deep insight I had around relationships.  I realized that I have been having a long distance relationship, that had grown quite toxic in many ways.

As I was looking at this relationship and all of the ways I have compromised my beliefs, my wants, my desires, my “I deserves” in the past, oh 35 years……it scared me.  It saddened me.  It steeled my will to change this most basic of relationships into something that would feed my soul…support me in moving closer to my soul purpose….encourage me……honor me.  The sad thing is that the long distance relationship I am in is with myself.  Glad I am the one that can change that!

The past week has been an upside down week for me.  After completing The Passion Test with a very dear friend of mine (Jenni P.), all SORTS of stuff started going off in my head/body!  Even in dojo (I practice Aikido….it is a very integral part of who I choose to be in my life….check it out here) I was feeling like I was back at square one….back to a white belt, just walking into dojo….out of sorts, discombobulated, fighting and not blending, not connecting.  And I could not for the life of me figure it out!!  Do you know those times when you just feel like you got dropped into someone else’s life, and you can’t get your bearings because everything is suddenly different (or is it just me that feels that way?)

Maybe it is an age thing….I’m getting to a point in my life where I am questioning the things around me: does this serve my higher purpose, and the greater good, or am I just enabling another person’s avoidance to change?  Of course, my first reaction to any disputes (conflicts with people or environments or change in general) is to go inside myself and see if I can find where I need to adjust my expectations, or am I uncovering a hidden limiting belief that I need to question.  Well this time around, I was lashing out at those around me – very VERY unusual.  So, I did what I normally do:  I retreated into my cave (retreated from the world for a few hours).  That did nothing good.  My next course of action was to Phone a Friend 2011 style (I posted a Facebook message about feeling way out of sorts, tired, and shut down).  And I have to say, I have the most amazing friends in the world!  Not only that, but they are smart!!!

 ”Just the phases of development…I find when I get all ‘out of sorts’, it’s only because I’m moving into a more evolved space. For what it’s worth ”

…………………..more to come…………………..

I asked the question on Facebook today about why is it that I am drawn to the same book over and over again (for years, now), and yet I cannot seem to ALLOW myself to read it.  I KNOW the book will give me a new perspective.  I KNOW the book will give me additional tools to release the things in my thinking that are holding me back.  I KNOW that I WANT to move forward in my life, I KNOW that I can do all of this…..but I still stop short.  Why is that?

The funny thing is that when I asked the question to my friends on Facebook  (some of you might be reading this now,  and I welcome your insight and comments), the overwhelming response was “Just do it”.  Okay, well it worked great for Nike (it’s a catchy slogan…don’t know if more people are moved to action because of it, but it is very catchy).  Didn’t work so well for Nancy Reagan (“just say no” campaign against drugs).   I DON’T know, that is why I am asking and pondering this….why is the advice given “just do it”….whatever “IT” is?  If we could “just do it” wouldn’t we?

Seriously.  I am really perplexed by this…..do we give the advice of “just do it” to others because it makes us feel superior…..if you have a problem, just get over it (and no judgement there…..I’ve done the same thing to myself and to others…..no harm no foul…..but serious questioning).  Or is it something deeper…..a searching for the secret sauce that when applied liberally will allow us to make those changes, start that exercise program, read that book, change the job, leave that bad relationship…..whatever “that” change is that we are desiring.

Yes I am reflecting out loud.  Pondering the inner workings of my mind.  I would love some insights.  Leave a comment, tell me what works for you!!

I just couldn’t resist creating this little video!

I don’t remember the last time that I did something like this…..too fun!

“Everyone has their price”…..can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that said.  You hear it in movies where the hero finds themselves in a very difficult situation, where they have to choose to stand for what they believe in, or give in.   And as I watch the movie the judgmental voice says, “Wow, I can’t believe they did that!  I’d never do THAT!” and go on watching the movie, content in my cozy clothes, in my warm house, still full from dinner, surrounded by family, quite pleased with my self righteousness.

But, I was right. I would never do THAT, I just sell my belief in myself when I get met with criticism.  I back off from what I know to be true, and take on another persons “truth”.  Why?  Well I have recently discovered that there are certain times when I have backed off (of what I really knew to be true for me) in order to placate another person, in order to avoid making the other person feel bad, to avoid an argument where I will have to “prove” I am right, or having to point out another persons shortcomings…..I have felt that it is easier for me to acquiesce than to stand.  I too have my price.  And, up until recently, this has gone on below my conscious recognition…..I haven’t noticed the pattern.  But I am finding that the price is too high to continue that pattern any longer.

Learning to be real.  Doing the work, removing the pain of the past, releasing those who have hurt me, forgiving myself for “not doing better”, and really choosing in EACH MOMENT how I want to respond…..and being open to seeing and releasing the coping patterns of my youth, in order to step into all of the glory that I am as an adult, is a day to day process.

Thanks for sharing in this journey with me! Just remember:  Take it one day at a time, and forgive yourself for all the missteps yesterday.  Tomorrow will bring new chances to shine like the brilliant being that you are!  Yes, I was talking to myself.  Please feel free to tell yourself this too!!

This just came out from my friend Margaret Lynch. She is known world wide for her expertise in really getting in and helping people clear out emotional blocks, traumas, and vows lodged in our energy systems (also called our chakras). I’ve worked with her on several occasions, and specifically with this course that she is doing the free teleclass on. And, yes, you read that correctly. The teleclass is totally and completely FREE! Which is what the class will get you one step closer to being….free! So, enough from me. Here is Margaret, in her own words:

Today I want to start at the beginning:  The beginning of you, your power, your life purpose.

Everything builds on a foundation and you are no
different. Your foundation is your 1st chakra.

Your physical body is the primary element of
your first chakra, the foundation of all that
you are. When the first chakra is healthy, it
is like a beautiful and powerfully magnetic tree.

It is your foundation of strength, power and
divine worthiness and is perfectly designed for
you to life your life purpose. It also operates
as a magnet, drawing to you the physical stuff that
you need and desire in your life.

When our first chakra is healthy, you feel PRESENT,
powerful and fabulous. Super cool.

Also very cool is the fact that everyone around you will
ALSO feel your presence and power (and fabulous-ness)too.

How do we know if our first chakra is?
There is an easy test. Answer this question.

How you feel about your body, and how safe do you
feel actually.

The answers to those 2 questions often bring up a lot of
pain and sadness and I hear this so much.

So, do you really love your body?

Or do any of these fit?

=> Do you feel as though your body has let you down,
is imperfect, is weak or ugly?
=> Is physical sensuality and intimacy just not part
of your life anymore?
=> Do you feel more anxiety or panic in your body
then centered presence?
=> Did you learn that it is not safe to be totally
present?

This is exactly what we will “address and bless” in a new
FREE teleclass totally dedicated to the foundation of your
power, your 1st Chakra!

http://www.LikeThisStuff.com/passionpreview

What? Hidden VOWS? What’s that about? That was my first reaction as well. But, after spending a few weeks listening and BEING OPEN to the information, I realized that Margaret (http://www.likethisstuff.com/Margaret) was right on.

Okay, let me back up. I’ve been on the trail of inner peace for many (many….many) years. It has lead me to complete my Reiki Master training, a Level 1 EFT Certification, a long needed divorce, and many years of chakra study. But there was always something missing in my quest for peace. I was finding myself replaying the same patterns over and over again…..and getting more and more frustrated. Even the books I was reading on the chakras were not AT THAT POINT getting to the issues. I understood how an imbalance in my 2nd Chakra would result in a low self esteem, a feeling of not belonging, a feeling of not being safe…..but just knowing that didn’t change it.

Have you ever felt out of balance within your own life? Like in the video…..knowing that what you are saying and how you are feeling are two different things? Do you even find yourself dreaming about how you want your love life to be, only to “wake up” and find yourself still in bed with that person that makes you feel terrible about yourself….how many nights have YOU cried yourself to sleep, out of the sheer loneliness and fear of it never being different?….

These things may seem disjointed, out of flow….but they aren’t. They are all tied together. Life, love, passion, fulfillment, alignment. For me, it was discovering this with my friend Margaret, during a conversation on an accountability call, that blew open the gates to freedom for me. Check this out: http://www.likethisstuff.com/7Levels You will get access to a couple of free videos that will start this process for you. Don’t be fooled that it is focused on money and manifestation! The freedom that will come from doing this work will affect EVERY aspect of your life!!!

The first time I did a search for the word “authentic” in Dictionary.com, it came back with “no results found”…….Needless to say, I was a little shocked (so much so, that it started many a conversation with other people about what “authentic” meant to them). I DID go back the next day and do another search for “authentic” in Dictionary.com. It DID return results that time (Whew!). And, yes Travis (thank you dear brother), I DID spell “authentic” correctly!

But, have you ever stopped to think about what that word “authentic” really means in a practical sense? For example, were you taught to tell the truth? Most kids are, in fact, most kids are punished for lying at some point. But, where does lying to yourself come in? (Hey, no judgement here! I’ve spent many a day in front of the mirror having similar conversations with myself, so I am not immune.) But seriously. There are certain situations that we have been “trained” that lying is not only acceptable, it is expected. Have you ever noticed that in those situations you have no personal power?

[Now I know that the flip side to this is example after example of triggered responses resulting in angry outbursts, sometime with very negative and dangerous ends. But anger is not inherently bad.....it's how we choose to express our anger that can cause problems]

Anger isn’t bad? Well, I sure thought it was. I remember getting so confused and hurt inside that it was okay for other people to “vent” and be obviously angry, but I didn’t think it was okay for me. Has anyone else ever felt that way? No? Okay, so it is just me……

When I started to notice my internal dialogue (yes, the voice in my head), and actually wrote it down, I began to see a pattern in how I was not being authentic to who I really was. As if that wasn’t scarey enough, I started to see how much I was Faking It…..in every aspect of my life. So started my journey to integration….and it continues today. Some of the tools that I have gathered over the years: EFT, Reiki, journaling, learning more about energy manipulation and how to create our own reality, among others.

I invite you to share stories of your journey. Allow others to encourage you in your victories, and empathize in your setback.

Conversation starter! What does \”Authentic\” mean to you?